Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor
Startup Life
ISBN: 978-1-118-44364-4
Many of the books I review in this series focus specifically on building a startup or business, building the entrepreneurial ecosystem, or working on yourself. In reality, there are other supporting you and your venture that are rarely discussed. Startup Life, by husband and wife duo Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor, focuses on the personal relationships outside your business. It’s a refreshing take on the startup world, and is almost always overlooked in lieu of promoting the individual founder.
Even though my wife is not involved in the “startup life,” we sometimes come up against the same issues that other spouses face as two driven professionals – arguments over inflows and outflows of money, differences in family traditions and dealing with the children, work/life balance, and finding the time to spend time as a couple. This book devotes space to nearly every possible conflict that can arise in couples where one or both partners is involved in the high-stress startup lifestyle, which have all been issues that Feld and Batchelor or close friends of theirs have faced.
I really appreciated the excerpts in each chapter written by other founders who were willing to share their stories. Coming forward to tell your story, especially when talking about problems in a relationship, can be incredibly difficult. I understand this first-hand through my work creating BondingBox – it took a fair amount of convincing friends and acquaintances to talk openly about their relationships, even when their stories were going to remain anonymous and combined with the stories of other anonymous couples. These stories were a great illustration of each subject being covered, and may give the reader hope that, in fact, they are not alone dealing with these issues.
The big takeaway from this book was the great number of strategies the authors suggested to keep the relationship fresh and to keep dialogue open between partners. How can you involve your partner in your entrepreneurial journey without dragging down the relationship? The answer is going to be completely different for each couple, and not all of the strategies listed will work for everyone. The tips you use will depend on your personality types, likes and dislikes, and the number of hours partners are able to spend in each others’ company. The path you take is up to you, and Feld and Batchelor do an excellent job giving the reader many paths to try.
Overall, 8/10, would recommend as a great read for any founder who wants to find ways to work through relationship problems either directly or indirectly due to the high-stress lifestyle of the startup world. No one relationship book will help all couples (which is why there are so many of them out there.) I found some use in this book – since my wife is a professional but not involved in the startup ecosystem, there were a few places where I had to do a bit of extrapolation. I do recommend at least giving this book a quick read if you are a founder in a long-term relationship, especially if you would like to stay in that long-term relationship.