Damon Zahariades
The Art of Saying No
ISBN: 978-1-54957-274-6
Do you ever have trouble saying “no” to someone or have trouble not starting or joining a project? I know that I do. It’s been a constant struggle to respectfully decline requests from other people or to forgo working on an interesting project. I don’t want to miss out on an exciting opportunity, or I don’t want to disappoint a friend who needs my help. I always end up paying the price for this, though. My schedule ends up way too full, and I begin to stress out as it becomes more and more difficult to meet deadlines. I’ve mentioned before on the blog that I have this problem, and I’ve been actively trying to reduce the number of projects I agree to do each year. However, it’s still a major struggle.
I decided to pick up a copy of The Art of Saying No to learn how to deal with my issues with saying “no.” I’m glad I did! It’s a great how-to guide to reclaiming your time and reclaiming your sanity without alienating yourself from society. Rather than suggesting you just yell “NO!” when someone asks you for a favor or for some help, this book has a fantastic list of ways to gently communicate your situation with others.
At points, it felt like a bit like one of those online “listicles” made famous by the likes of BuzzFeed and HuffPo. I’m not sure of a better way to get the information across, however. The format made it a great, easy read before bed each night for several nights. Each of the sections only comprises a couple of pages, and the main sections themselves were each only a couple dozen pages. Self-improvement is best consumed in a minutes before bed, when you have the night to sleep on any information presented.
I appreciated the author more after reading the first couple of chapters in part one: on being a people-pleaser and the importance of prioritizing your own needs. Being a people-pleaser and the fear of missing out on opportunities are two of the reasons I find myself unable to say “no” to others and take on too much work. It’s tough to decline work, especially when freelancing or starting a business. However, it’s really unhealthy to continue to take on too much and not make time for yourself, as discussed in this section. These chapters really drew me into the book, and the suggestions presented later in the book have actually worked for me since learning about them.
While it was great that the book got to the point so quickly, I wish that there had been a bit more meat on the bones. There were points in the book where it felt a bit like the author rushed to get the book out the door, leaning heavily on a “do A, expect B” formula. Knowing some of the people I deal with on a regular basis, I feel like there wasn’t as much expectation of push back from others in this book as I tend to get on a regular basis, even as someone who lives and works in the relatively polite Midwest. In future versions of the book, I hope that the author considers this and perhaps adds a chapter or two on resistance from the people you encounter.
Overall, 9/10, would recommend for people who, like myself, tend to find themselves taking on too much and regretting it later. If you need a pep talk or tips on saying no to others, this is a useful, quick read. Help yourself by just saying “no.”